Super Christian

Narrator: In a small town near you lives a boy who is born again and has abilities far greater than those found in the average Christian.  He can memorize and quote hundreds of Bible verses and sing every song in the book without missing a note.  Who is this superhero?  What is his name? 

(enter Super Christian)

People (off stage):  It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Super Christian!

Narrator: (SC mimes actions while Narrator speaks).  Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Every Sunday morning a transformation takes place.  Super Christian appears at the church, carrying his 40 pound Bible in the palm of one hand.  His super-smile shines and shows off his pearly-whites.  He greets everyone with a firm handshake.  He never misses a beat when the songs are sung.  And after every closing prayer he adds a loud “amen.” 

            But alas, what is this sudden transformation taking place?  It appears that Super Christian is headed for the nearest phone booth.  He’s…he’s…becoming a normal citizen?  He’s headed off to school; let’s see what will happen there.

Person: Hey!  It’s Super Christian!

Narrator: Super Christian, it seems that you’re being called. 

Person: Perfect!  I could really use some prayer right now.  You see…my family’s having a hard time and…

Super Christian: I think you have me mistaken for someone else.

Person: But you’re Super Christian.  I saw you at church. 

Super Christian: Really, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Person: But…

Super Christian: I gotta go.  (Moves to other side of stage).

Person 2:  Hey!  Aren’t you the one who knows all the Bible verses? 

Super Christian:  What?

Person 2:  Yeah, I saw you quoting verses at church yesterday.  Great!  I could really use some encouragement right now.

Super Christian: Could you keep it down, please?  There are other people listening.  I really don’t have time to quote verses right now. 

Person 2: But I thought…

Super Christian: Sorry, gotta run.  (exits)

(Person 2 exits, shrugging shoulders).